Valentine’s Day is here!! When I first started this series of posts with, Love on Valentine’s Day?, I didn’t realize there was so much to learn about love. With the help of C.S. Lewis and other commentaries, I have discovered the different nuances of the L-word and how they interact with each other.

I began by looking at Storge, or the love and bond within families and groups. Then, I moved onto Phileo – the love of friendship. My last post was on Eros, the romantic love between a man and a woman.

And, now, on to the last, and most powerful of them all – Agape.

C.S. Lewis on Agape Love

I have really enjoyed the YouTube series on The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis. The illustrator really makes his thoughts come to life and I have learned a lot. I highly recommend!

In the video on Agape love, Lewis described how this type of love fits in with the other three. While Storge, Phileo, and Eros, are natural loves, Agape transcends them all. In the natural loves, we give, but we also have needs associated with them. We want the other person to love us back. Instead, Agape is not something we need, (it’s not the same type of love found on Maslow’s hierarchy), and not even one we always desire, but it is essential to live and love as God would have us do.

Lewis stated that “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” Absolutely true in the other three natural loves. We can always be rejected by our spouse, children, or friends. But that is not the case in Agape love.

It is complete, self-sufficient, eternally blessed, no wants to satisfy, creates what it doesn’t need. It creates because, being love, it desires to give.

C.s. lewis

God gives us this give of true love. Unselfish, not requiring anything in return. Even better – through receiving this gift from Him, we are able to exercise Agape to others. “We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19.

As man feeleth God in himself, so is he to his neighbor.

William Tyndale

So, the more readily we accept Agape love from God – who wants nothing more for us than to have it – we can then turn and share it with those around us. Can you even imagine what it would look like if that’s what we all did?

Agape Love in the Bible

This, I knew, would be in my Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible: With Greek and Hebrew Dictionaries. (You can get a similar one here.)

ἀγάπη – agápē
love, i.e.affection or benevolence; from ἀγαπάω (agapáō) to love (in a social or moral sense)

If you look back to my post on Phileo, there was a distinction made between these two types of love. Phileo was to have affection for and was a matter of sentiment or feeling. Agape is wider – embracing the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty, and propriety. In short, Agape is of the mind too, not just the heart.

God calls us to love. Himself, our neighbors, and even our enemies. This is not always an easy feat.

How many times have you been wronged by someone? Has your immediate reaction been, ‘Oh, that’s ok, no worries. And, by the way, I love you even though you hurt me so badly.’?

With the other, natural loves, that is impossible! It is only through God’s gift of Agape love can we move past our own desires and extend love because it is how God wants us to be. We can’t expect love in return – and most times they won’t offer it. But, that’s ok. We truly don’t need it. If we are filled with God’s love, that’s really all that matters

… we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.

Romans 5:5

What I learned, and am still learning…

Agape love is the type that all other loves aspire to be. Just like Paul told us in 1 Corinthians ~

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 corinthians 13:4-8

I am so thankful for God’s gift of Agape love! Through God, we can put ourselves aside and truly live as He instructs. We can love Him with all our heart, and all our soul, and all our mind. We can love our neighbor as ourself, and even our enemies.

Your Thoughts?

Well, this is the final post on the four types of love in the Bible. What are your thoughts on all of them? From Storge, to Phileo, to Eros, and now, Agape, with the help of C.S. Lewis and my Bible, I have learned a lot! I pray we can invite and allow these loves into our hearts all year long – and not just on Valentine’s Day! Can’t wait to hear from all of you!