Since I began writing these posts, I have continually asked for feedback and constructive criticism.  I realize I am not the authority.  I am only one woman who is trying to follow God’s direction and do my best at being His daughter, a wife, and a mother.  But, while I asked for suggestions, I need to be open and coachable.  Otherwise, I will never improve.

So, this morning, it was brought to my attention that I may be using too many exclamation points in my posts… If you were thinking that, too – I’m sorry! (See? It just needs one.) The person who suggested this was a male.  He did say that I probably didn’t notice it as much because I am a female, and our texts typically include more exclamation points than guys’, so I’m just more used to seeing/using them…  Truth.

But he’s not a female.

To him, they became a bit of a distraction.  SO not my intention.

I went in and counted the number of exclamation points in my last post, “Parenting Before the Storm” – 33.  Ok, so maybe he has a point.  (Thanks, Honey…)

So, I’m going to work on that.

 

Choices, Choices, Choices

I knew something was coming, because when I asked what he thought of my post, Brad didn’t react much.  Then, he said, “well, if I could say one thing…” So, I listened to what he had to say.

And, then I had a choice.  I could ignore everything he was telling me – or – I could put away my pride, be coachable, and truly hear what he said.

At our last Bible Talk, the lesson was on this very topic.  Perhaps that’s why it seemed easier today.  There are so many verses related to accepting guidance and discipline – and the problems that occur if you don’t.  While I certainly don’t consider my being told I am overusing punctuation marks as discipline, I can definitely make a connection.

 

The Un-Coachable

If I would have let my pride get in the way, (not only would there be at least 10 more exclamation points so far), I may have discouraged Brad from giving me more feedback in the future.  I always want to hear what he (and others) think – the good and the not so good.  And, I’m not just talking about whatever I write here – I’m talking about in life.  Without hearing both, it can be really hard to gauge what’s going on at times.

Proverbs is full of great advice on this subject.  There are many warnings to those who do not allow themselves to be coachable or accept discipline.

A wise son heeds his father’s instruction,
but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.
Proverbs 13:1 (NIV)

 

Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.
Proverbs 10:17 (NIV)

 

In this case, I’m not really worried about leading others astray… But, I need to look at it as an easy way to work on accepting criticism – without my pride getting in the way.

 

The Coachable

There are a lot of benefits to being coachable in life.  Not only for the big stuff, but in day-to-day things as well.  After all, what good would it do to ask for help, and then completely disregard it when I got it? Absolutely none! (Notice – only the second one…)

It’s definitely hard to accept guidance and correction.  That means that I’m doing something wrong.  Nobody I know likes it when that happens.

Being punished isn’t enjoyable while it is happening – it hurts. But afterwards we can see the result, a quiet growth in grace and character.      Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

But, I do appreciate being told so I can fix whatever it is and do it the right way.  And, hopefully see the growth in grace and character that the author mentioned.

The bible has a lot of other illustrations about what happens when we allow ourselves to be coachable and wiling to receive help. This one from Isaiah stood out to me today.

If you are willing and obedient,
you will eat the good things of the land.
Isaiah 1:19 (NIV)

 

Nothing that I read makes me want to resist help from someone else.  But, I also know that it can be an uncomfortable situation.  Brad and I have been together for almost 20 years, and yet he was a little apprehensive to give me constructive criticism.  I need to remember that it can be just as difficult to be the coach as it is the coached. 

 

So, what did I learn?

While I realize I am not going to start a punctuation movement and ruin grammar as we know it, this is one small way I can practice humbly taking criticism.  So, when the big stuff comes along, and I am called out on something more serious, I pray that I will use these situations to help me be more coachable.

Yet, when we are judged and punished by the Lord, it is so that we will not be condemned with the rest of the world.                1 Corinthians 11:32 (TLB)

 

Your thoughts?

Have you ever had difficulty accepting guidance or discipline?  What verses in the bible gave you encouragement?  It would be great to have some more I can reference when I mess up in the future.  I can’t wait to hear from all of you! (I think that’s three…)