Yesterday was a bit rough around our house. It started as a great day. Brad was off due to the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, and we had fun things planned – a birthday lunch, some errands, and just spending time together, (imagine ~ a conversation without kids…). It was going to be so wonderful and relaxing!
But first, the driveway needed to be shoveled.
I heard him call my name from outside. Instantly, alarm bells went off in my head. I ‘ran’ as fast as I could to the door and looked out to see him lying at the bottom of our sloped driveway.
He had gotten through about two-thirds of the shoveling when he hit a patch of ice and fell. As he was falling, he tried to catch himself with his left arm and the force of the impact dislocated his left shoulder.
Now, for anyone who does not know that torturous pain, believe me when I tell you, it is worse than anything you will hopefully ever know…
So when I got to the bottom of the driveway, (despite his insistence for me to stay at the house), he was in agony, unable to get up because he couldn’t use his left arm – at all.
Because of my recent back surgery, I have a lifting restriction of 10 pounds, so I knew I would be of no use to him at all.
I felt completely helpless.
So, after scanning the cul-de-sac for anyone who might have stayed home from work that day, I realized I needed to call someone for help.
Help!
My mind raced to think of somebody – anybody – to call who could come. I called any men I could think of who might be close enough to come and at least help him to his feet.
Finally, I got ahold of a Brother who was at home and our Minister, Joel. Thankfully, help was on the way. After getting Brad a blanket, all I could do was stand there at the bottom of the driveway, waiting helplessly with my husband. He was in excruciating pain, freezing on the ground, and all I could do was stand there. Waiting. Praying.
Joel came and was able to help Brad get on his feet, and then got us both back into the house. Then, as Brad and I were pulling out of the driveway to go to the hospital, Joel picked up the shovel that Brad had dropped and finished clearing the driveway. He was a true example of Paul’s instruction…
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
After a trip to the emergency room, Brad’s shoulder eventually found its way back into the socket. But as I sat there after the ordeal was over, waiting for X-ray results and a consult from the doctor, I thought back to everything that happened and realized how much I couldn’t help. And how much that bothered me.
I can’t
Now, I don’t tout myself as ‘The Fixer,’ but I do like to help and assist whenever I can. But yesterday, I could only stand there, looking at my husband who was on the ground and unable to get up with his useless arm, and provide no help. As it was so soon after my surgery, I couldn’t even offer him a hand to stand.
That was really hard.
Yes, I called for help and thankfully Joel was able to come. But, I couldn’t get Brad to stand, or put his shoulder back in the socket, or take away his pain.
All I felt was complete helplessness.
As I was reflecting on this, I wondered if that’s how God feels when He’s looking at us.
He’s watching. He’s looking out for us. He even sent His son to come and save us. But, He can’t pick us up out of our mess. It’s our choice. And, until we choose to ask Him for help, I would imagine God feels pretty helpless, too.
Battle of Wills
Brad could have struggled and worked as hard as he could have to get up on his own, but he was broken. He couldn’t do it on his own. So he called for help. He chose to stop trying to accomplish an impossible task and call for help.
I think about how hard it can be to make that choice in life. How many times have I tried to bull through something thinking I could just will the desired outcome into being?
Surely if I think about it hard enough, and try everything I possibly can, it will happen, right?
Truly, if my will alone could have moved Brad, he would have been flying to the hospital. But sheer will wasn’t enough.
I think about God’s will. And what He wants for us. How much He loves us and wants to take care of us. But, until we ask Him for help, and then let Him help us by submitting and obeying, He is like me with all my restrictions and limitations. Unless we accept Him and His will, we are stuck on that frozen earth, trying our best to get up when we are broken.
“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16
What I learned and am still learning…
It was such a terrible feeling to be helpless. I can only imagine the agony I put God through by not allowing His will be done – by thinking I can handle everything on my own.
The lesson of relying on God and allowing Him to help when I cannot or should not is something I need to review daily. (Check out Let Go – Let God, and many others…)
The thing is, I felt helpless because of my recent surgery. The truth is, I’m not sure I really could have helped Brad if my back would have been completely healed.
So, if I felt helpless without even knowing if I could help, imagine God – who knows He can help us in any situation. How does that make Him feel every day?
If God does feel helpless when I don’t ask Him for help, that’s something I don’t want to be responsible for. Really, all we need to do is choose to ask.
The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; He hears their cry and saves them. Psalm 145:18-20
Your thoughts?
What do you think? How have you learned to rely on God more for His help? I would love to hear what verses you have found that have really helped you go to Him instead of trying to do it alone. I can’t wait to hear from all of you!
