In my last post, Love on Valentine’s Day?, I wrote about limiting the love we show others to just one day. While I really don’t believe that happens for most people, it got me thinking about the different types of love there are.
And, for the record, I started this post last week – before the Super Bowl! I was blown away when I saw this commercial for New York Life. Never before had I done any research on the four types of love, and here it was coming to me from all angles and on big screens! If that isn’t God, I don’t know what it is.
As I mentioned in that post, love is mentioned over 500 times in the NIV version of the Bible. I know in my life, I use the word love a lot! I love God, my husband, kids, family, friends, our dogs, and – of course – chocolate…
It’s impossible to categorize all that love into just one meaning of the word. I decided to study out the different ways that emotion is demonstrated in the Bible.
There are so many resources on this topic and I know I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface. In order for me to wrap my brain around love and all it stands for, I did a lot of searching and even got out my Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible: With Greek and Hebrew Dictionaries. (You can get a similar one here.)
What’s the Word on Love?
Knowing that God sees love as one of the most important things, I thought it would be wise to have a better understanding of the different types of love. I figured if I could recognize the various forms, hopefully, it will be easier to live out the love for others in my daily life.
Love is written about in many different forms and situations in the Bible. There are four different uses of the Greek words for love – Storge, Phileo, Eros, and Agape. Through researching this topic, I found that CS Lewis wrote a book on these called, The Four Loves. I also found a great YouTube video series of CS Lewis describing these forms of love as an illustrator doodles the images presented. While there are myriad resources on these Greek words for love, I appreciated the visuals as well as Lewis’s explanations.
Storge (στοργή) Love in My Family
The first is Storge love. This type of love includes the bond, affection, and loyalty that develops primarily between family members. In the video of CS Lewis’s explanation of Storge, he described it as a building block for other loves. Friendships and marriages cannot sustain if there wasn’t the basic Storge love as well.
To me, Storge is basically a love you can’t control. One that exists in a family because you are a family. And, when it involves your children, it is innate and immediate. When we had Spencer, we fell in love instantly – because he is our son. We loved Eliana – because she is our daughter. God loves us – because we are His children.
But it’s not limited to our nuclear family – there is another facet to Storge love. Others, to whom we aren’t related, we can love – because they are all children of God. Strong’s concordance expands the definition to that special affection shared between members of God’s family. I can extend love to someone even though they aren’t my friend.
Storge (στοργή) Love in God’s Family
Lewis explained that it wasn’t just a type of love for those with whom we are related, or want to love, it extends past those individuals to those whom we might not want to love, or might not naturally feel drawn to. But, because we are a ‘family’ in a different sense of the word, we create a bond and feel affection towards them as well.
Through getting past what, at first, might be unattractive to us, we find that we end up enjoying the person. Lewis attributes it to familiarity. By spending time with someone, even if it’s not of your choosing, you still are around them. Therefore, you get to know them better. And, chances are, you are going to see something in them you like and can connect with. But, that one thing that moves you from mere acquaintances into the arena of Storge love, wouldn’t necessarily have been enough to attract you to that person in the first place. It is only after getting to know them better, that you create that bond with someone you wouldn’t ordinarily seek out. He labels this, Familiarity bred affection.
What I learned, and am still learning…
It seems to me, that the more time you spend with someone, Storge love is inevitable. This is the natural effect of having a personal connection with another person. It is that bond that unites people – whether at home, church, or work. This feeling of concern and regard for the welfare of another person is how God wired us to be.
We have been placed together on this earth and God commands us to love one another. While not every relationship will result in gaining a best friend or spouse, we can experience Storge love as one that binds us together as humans living our lives together.
While Storge love isn’t evidenced by every character in the Bible, (like Cain and Abel in Genesis 4), we are given many examples of what this does look like – God as our Father, and we as His sons and daughters, Mary and Martha’s love for their brother Lazarus in John 11, and a large number of other healthy familial relationships written about between parents and children. We can then take those loving characteristics to our own family members as we fill our homes with love.
Your thoughts?
What are your thoughts about Storge love? Although it’s never specifically used in the Bible – only the antithesis – this type of love is evidenced throughout Scriptures. I can’t wait to hear from all of you!
